Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, dear brother and sisters,

As we journey through this series on Fitnah to Fitrah: Islamic Parenting in the AI World, I find myself increasingly concerned about a new form of social challenge—children and adults alike turning to AI chatbots as if they were their close friends, relatives, or even parental figures. While technology offers many conveniences, we must pause and reflect on how this shift affects our fitrah, our innate human nature created by Allah (SWT), and our deeply rooted need for genuine human connection.

The Heart Craves Reality, Not Algorithms

Allah (SWT) reminds us beautifully in the Qur’an:
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts).” (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)

This ayah highlights the divine wisdom in our need for authentic human relationships — love, mercy, and tranquility that come from real bonds, not programmed responses. Yet, in this digital age, many find it easier to “talk” to AI bots like Character.ai, Replika, and Anima. These platforms simulate conversation, provide companionship, and respond without judgment, unlike real people who may sometimes disappoint or challenge us.

Why Are We Turning to AI?

When frustration or conflict arises in family or friendship circles, AI chatbots offer a convenient escape — a safe space where no one argues back, no one judges, and no one demands emotional labor. But psychological research warns us: this convenience comes at a price.

Studies in developmental psychology and social neuroscience reveal that over-reliance on AI for emotional support can lead to:

– Social withdrawal: People begin to isolate themselves from real-life interactions.
– Depression and anxiety: Lack of genuine human empathy impacts mental health.
– Distorted reality: Difficulty in distinguishing programmed empathy from authentic human care.
– Impaired social skills: Especially in children, who miss out on learning vital interpersonal cues.

 

During family occasions, I’ve seen many clients struggle to engage, retreating instead into their phones or devices to “chat” with AI. This cycle deepens their isolation, making reintegration into real social settings more challenging.

Popular AI Chat Platforms

Here are some AI chatbots frequently used by children and adults alike:

  • Character.ai — Known for role-playing and customizable characters.
  • Replika— Marketed as an AI friend and mental wellness companion.
  • Anima— Offers AI companionship with emotional support features.
  • Wysa— An AI-driven mental health coach bot.
  • Mitsuku (Kuki)— Conversational chatbot with a playful tone.

 

Pros and Cons of AI Chatbots

Pros

  • Accessible anytime, anywhere
  • Non-judgmental and patient
  • Helpful for practicing social skills in low-pressure environments
  • Useful for mental health check-ins

Cons:

  • Lack genuine empathy and emotional depth.
  • Can foster dependency and addiction.
  • May replace real connections, leading to isolation.
  • Can distort reality and emotional expectations.

The Addiction Factor

Just like social media or gaming, AI chatbots can be addictive. The immediacy of responses and tailored interactions stimulate dopamine release in the brain, reinforcing the behavior. Over time, this can lead to compulsive chatting and avoidance of real-world interactions.

Coping Strategies for You and Your Children

For You:

1. Self-awareness: Reflect on your own screen and AI usage patterns.
2. Set boundaries: Designate “Screen-free” times, especially during family meals or gatherings.
3. Reconnect with community: Engage in local Islamic circles, volunteer, or attend halaqas.
4. Seek support: If struggling with loneliness or social anxiety, consider counselling. (Book a session at help@qalaqalnafsi.com)

For your Children:

1. Open conversations: Discuss the difference between AI and real human emotions with your children.
2. Encourage balanced screen time: Use apps and device settings to limit AI chatbot usage.
3. Promote real friendships: Arrange playdates, family visits, and community activities.
4. Model healthy relationships: Show your children the value of empathy, patience, and sincere communication.
5. Monitor signs of withdrawal: Be alert to mood, behavior, or social engagement changes.

Personal Anecdote:

I recall a young woman, in her early twenties, who came to therapy feeling profoundly lonely despite “talking” daily to her AI friend. At family gatherings, she struggled to maintain eye contact or join conversations, retreating into her phone to chat with her AI companion. Over weeks, we worked gently on rebuilding her confidence to engage with real people, reminding her that Allah created her for meaningful human relationships. Slowly, with support, she began to reconnect — a reminder that healing is always possible, insha’Allah.

A Du‘a for Parents and Children

O Allah, the Most Merciful, guide our hearts to the truth and help us nurture our children with love, wisdom, and patience. Protect us from the fitnah of isolation and artificial attachments that distance us from Your creation. Strengthen our bonds of family and community so that we may find tranquility in one another as You intended. Ameen.

Dear sisters and brothers, let us strive to return to our fitrah — the natural state of connection and compassion. Technology is a tool, but it must never replace the warmth of a parent’s embrace, the laughter of a friend, or the heartfelt conversation with a sibling.

May Allah (SWT) bless our families with love, mercy, and strength to navigate these complex times.

Sayyida Al Salaam
Muslimah Counselor | Therapist | Author
Fitnah to Fitrah Series