Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh, dear sisters and brothers,
In an age where connection is just a click away, it may seem paradoxical that social isolation, anxiety, and unhealthy comparison have silently taken root among our youth and even adults. This invisible epidemic is affecting our children, teenagers, and young adults the most—those precious souls in their formative years who are desperately seeking acceptance, identity, and belonging.
The Age Groups Most Vulnerable
While social isolation and anxiety can affect all ages, studies and clinical observations show that:
- Children aged 10–14 begin to experience heightened social awareness and sensitivity.
- Teenagers and young adults (15–25) are especially vulnerable due to identity formation, peer pressure, and exposure to social media.
- Even young parents and adults face these feelings in different ways, but the youth bear the brunt of comparison and anxiety from digital platforms.
What Does Social Isolation, Anxiety, and Comparison Look Like?
Many parents and educators may overlook these silent struggles because their symptoms often masquerade as typical teenage moodiness or introversion. Here are some signs and symptoms to watch for:
- Withdrawal from family and friends, preferring solitude or digital interactions.
- Persistent feelings of loneliness despite being “connected” online.
- Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or fatigue linked to anxiety.
- Excessive worry about social situations, fear of judgment, or avoidance of gatherings.
- Constant comparison to others’ curated lives on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, or YouTube.
- Low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, or even depressive thoughts.
The Role of Popular Platforms Among Our Young Ummah
Our youth are spending increasing hours on platforms such as:
- Instagram & TikTok — breeding grounds for comparison through filtered, idealized images.
- Snapchat — ephemeral messaging causing pressure to stay “in the loop.”
- YouTube — exposure to influencers and lifestyles that may not align with Islamic values.
- Discord & Roblox — while great for gaming and socializing, they can sometimes isolate young users from real-world interactions.
- WhatsApp & Telegram groups — sometimes sources of gossip, peer pressure, or exclusion.
While these platforms offer connectivity, they also foster a culture where self-worth is measured by likes, followers, and virtual approval, which can fuel social anxiety and isolation.
Case 1: Amira’s Struggle with Social Comparison
Amira, a 17-year-old high school student, came to my counselling session feeling overwhelmed and anxious about her life. She confided in me that she was constantly comparing her academic achievements, physical appearance, and social media popularity with her friends and classmates. She felt like she was not good enough and was worried that her parents would be proud of her.
During our sessions, we explored the root causes of her anxiety and identified that Amira was spending excessive time on social media, particularly Instagram, where she would compare her life with her friends’ seemingly perfect lives. We worked on strategies to help Amira reduce her social media usage, focus on her strengths, and develop a growth mindset.
I also encouraged Amira to practice self-compassion and challenge her negative self-talk. We worked on reframing her negative thoughts and replacing them with more realistic and positive ones. Amira learned to focus on her own goals and achievements, rather than comparing herself to others.
Case 2: Sarah’s Breakthrough from Social Comparison
Sarah, 30, came feeling depressed and stuck in a job she disliked. She shared that constantly seeing friends and family getting married or having children on social media made her feel inadequate and hopeless.
We identified excessive social media use and social comparison as key causes. Together, we explored her career interests and goals, helping her regain clarity and motivation. Sarah then decided to delete her social media apps, which greatly improved her mood and outlook.
Freed from the cycle of comparison, Sarah began focusing on her own growth and took positive steps toward a more fulfilling career and life.
Islamic Principles and Quranic Verses:
The Quran and Sunnah offer profound guidance on loneliness, anxiety, and community:
- Allah (SWT) reminds us in the Quran:
“Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.”
— Surah Ash-Sharh (94:6)
This verse reassures us that hardship, including emotional struggles, is temporary and accompanied by ease. - The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.”
— Sahih Muslim
Strength here includes mental and emotional resilience, which we must nurture in ourselves and our children.
We are also taught the importance of community (Ummah) and brotherhood:
“The believers, in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy, are just like one body.”
— Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim
This reminds us that isolation is contrary to the spirit of Islam, which encourages connection and support.How Can We Help Ourselves and Our Children?
1. Encourage Real-Life Relationships
- Prioritize family time and community involvement.
- Facilitate group activities that build social skills and confidence.
- Emphasize quality over quantity in friendships, focusing on sincerity and trust.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries with Social Media
- Limit screen time, especially before bed.
- Discuss the “highlight reel” nature of social media — remind youth that what they see is often curated.
- Encourage digital detox days to reconnect with the physical world.
3. Open Communication and Emotional Literacy
- Create safe spaces at home to talk openly about feelings without judgment.
- Recognize mood changes and encourage seeking help when needed.
- Teach children coping skills such as deep breathing, dua, and mindfulness.
4. Strengthen Spiritual Connection
- Regular prayer (Salah) and dhikr (remembrance of Allah) can calm anxiety and foster inner peace.
- Study stories of the Prophets who endured loneliness and hardship with patience and trust in Allah.
- Engage in acts of charity and community service to build empathy and social bonds.
5. Seek Professional Help When Needed
- Don’t hesitate to consult counselors or therapists trained in Islamic psychology.
- Early intervention can prevent worsening symptoms and build resilience.
As we navigate the complexities of social isolation, anxiety, and comparison in the digital era, let us remember the timeless wisdom of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.”
Let us take responsibility for our own mental and emotional well-being, as well as that of our children. By acknowledging the warning signs, taking proactive steps, and seeking guidance from Islamic principles, Quranic verses, and psychological theories, we can overcome the devastating consequences of social isolation, anxiety, and comparison.
Dua for Parents and Children:
“O Allah, protect our children and us from the fitnah of social isolation, anxiety, and comparison in this digital age. Guide us towards the straight path, and grant us the wisdom to navigate the complexities of social media and digital relationships. Help us to be vigilant and aware of the signs of social isolation, anxiety, and comparison. Grant us the strength to set boundaries, to educate, and to nurture ourselves and our children towards a life of fitrah, where they can flourish in Your Mercy and Guidance.”
#SocialIsolation #SocialAnxiety #SocialComparison #DigitalEra #IslamicParenting #MentalHealthMatters #ProtectOurChildren #FitrahVsFitnah
Fi Amanillah,
Sayyida Al Salaam
Australian Muslimah Counselor, Therapist & Author of From Fitna to Fitrah – Islamic Parenting in the AI World
www.qalaqalnafsi.com
help@qalaqalnafsi.com
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