As I sit down to write this, my heart is heavy with concern. As a Muslimah counselor and therapist, I’ve had the privilege of working with numerous families, guiding them through the complexities of modern parenting. But one issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart is the phenomenon of “Stranger Danger” in the digital age. It’s a topic that requires urgent attention, and I’m compelled to share my concerns with you, dear parents.

In the past, schools would often run programs to educate children about the dangers of talking to strangers. But who’s teaching the parents about the strangers lurking in their own living rooms? The ones they’re allowing their children to befriend, under the guise of “online gaming” or “socializing”? It’s a harsh reality, but one we must confront head-on.

You might think, “But I don’t allow my children to talk to strangers!” Ah, dear parent, you might be unwittingly permitting it. When you allow your children to play games like Roblox, Fortnite, or Minecraft, or use platforms like Discord, you’re giving strangers access to your child’s digital playground.

These strangers befriend our children, offering them virtual “candies” like Robux or V-Bucks, slowly gaining their trust, and eventually, grooming them for more sinister purposes. It’s a trap, and our children are vulnerable to it. They’re like sheep in wolf’s clothing, unaware of the dangers lurking beneath the surface.

I recall two cases that still haunt me. A 14-year-old girl befriended someone on Roblox, who claimed to be a non-Muslim wanting to convert to Islam. He flattered her, asked her to share pictures of herself in hijab, and even pretended to take the Shahada in front of her. Further research revealed that this was part of a larger agenda, known as “Bhagwa- Love Trap,” where individuals are trained to target young women in a 12-step process. My heart sank as I realized she was at step 10, just two steps away from being manipulated into marriage.

Another case involved a girl who befriended a boy on Roblox, exhibiting similar mood swings, secretive behavior, and arguments with her parents. Luckily, her parents were vigilant and caught it early, but not before she gave them a hard time. After several counseling sessions, she began to understand the fitnah (temptation) she was in and is now slowly returning to fitrah (her natural, pure state).

As I reflect on these cases, I’m reminded of the Quranic verse, “And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Surah Al-Isra, 17:32) This warning extends beyond physical encounters to the virtual realm, where unseen dangers lurk.

So, what can we do as parents? We must be proactive, not reactive. We must be the guardians of our children’s digital lives, just as we are of their physical lives. We must educate ourselves about the online platforms our children use, their risks, and potential dangers.

Warning Signs:

  • Mood swings, irritability, or secrecy around device use
  • Unusual interest in online games or platforms
  • Withdrawal from family activities or conversations
  • Sudden changes in behavior, appearance, or attitudes

Strategies:

  • Set clear boundaries and rules for device use
  • Monitor online activities, using parental control software if necessary
  • Engage in open conversations with your child about online safety and stranger danger
  • Encourage physical activities, outdoor play, and socialization with family and friends
  • Educate yourself about popular online games and platforms, their risks, and potential dangers
  • Set up regular “digital detox” times, where devices are put away, and family bonding takes center stage

As I conclude this important message, I want to leave you with a personal dua (prayer) for all parents and children:

“O Allah, protect our children from the fitnah of this digital age. Guide them towards the straight path, and grant them the wisdom to navigate the complexities of online relationships. Help us, as parents, to be vigilant and aware of the dangers lurking in the shadows of our homes. Grant us the strength to set boundaries, to educate, and to nurture our children towards a life of fitrah, where they can flourish in Your Mercy and Guidance.”

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May Allah (SWT) guide us all on this journey of parenting in the digital age. Ameen.

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