Assalamu Alaikum dear brothers & sisters, As parents, we often find ourselves caught up in the whirlwind of consumerism, constantly upgrading to the latest gadgets, phones, and devices. But have we ever stopped to think about the impact this has on our children? Are we teaching them the value of sustainability and maintenance, or are we perpetuating a culture of disposability and entitlement?
Let’s be honest, who among us hasn’t queued up for the latest iPhone release or pre-ordered the newest smartwatch? We justify it by saying we need the latest features or that our old device
is no longer functional. But if we’re being truthful, many times we upgrade simply to stay ahead of the curve, to keep up with the Joneses, or to feed our ego.
But what’s the harm in upgrading, you might ask? Well, for one, it sets a dangerous precedent for our children. When we show them that we can easily replace things that are still functional, we’re teaching them that relationships, too, can be discarded and replaced at will. We’re perpetuating a culture of disposability, where things are used and then thrown away without a second thought.
This mentality has far-reaching consequences. In our community, we’re seeing a rise in divorces, broken relationships, and a general sense of entitlement. We’re teaching our children that it’s okay to give up on things that get tough, rather than working to fix and maintain them.
Personal Anecdote:
I remember visiting my in-laws’ place. They have an old grinding machine and fridge that’s older than I am! ;-). Every time it broke, my father-in-law would get it fixed, refusing to throw it away. My husband finally convinced him to get a new fridge, but the old one wasn’t discarded – it was kept as a backup. I couldn’t help but admire my father-in-law’s commitment to sustainability and maintenance. It made me realize that his generation had a very different approach to relationships, too. They didn’t give up on people easily; they worked to fix and maintain relationships, just as they did with their belongings.
Coping Strategies:
- Practice sustainability: Before upgrading, ask yourself if it’s really necessary. Can you fix the old device instead of replacing it?
- Teach maintenance skills: Show your child how to take care of their belongings, from toys to clothes to electronics. Encourage them to fix things instead of throwing them away.
- Model responsible behavior: As parents, we need to model the behavior we want our children to adopt. Show them that it’s okay to keep things for a long time, and that it’s not necessary to always have the latest and greatest.
- Encourage gratitude: Teach your child to appreciate what they have, rather than constantly desiring the latest upgrades.
- Have open conversations: Talk to your child about the importance of maintaining relationships, just as we maintain our belongings. Explain that people are not disposable, and that we need to work to fix and strengthen relationships.
Reflection Question:
Am I teaching my child the value of sustainability and maintenance, or am I perpetuating a culture of disposability and entitlement? Take a moment to reflect on your own behavior and ask yourself if you’re modeling the values you want your child to adopt.
Dua (Supplication)
اﻟ ﱠﻠﮭُ ﱠم إِ ﱢﻧﻲ أَﺳْﺄَﻟُكَ اﻟْﺣِﻛْﻣَﺔَ ﻓِﻲ أَﻣْرِي ﻛُ ﱢﻠﮫِ، وَاﻟ ﱠﺳﻼَﻣَﺔَ ﻓِﻲ دِﯾﻧِﻲ وَدُﻧْﯾَﺎيَ
Allahumma inni as’aluka al-hikmata fi amri kullihi, wa al-salamaha fi deeni wa dunyaya
O Allah, I ask You for wisdom in all my affairs, and for peace and security in my faith and worldly life.
May Allah guide us towards wisdom and responsible behaviour, and may we raise our children to value sustainability, maintenance, and meaningful relationships. Ameen.
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